By Fadia Bint Ismail
My Mind. My Thoughts are uncontrollable. Sometimes I sit and ponder one million thoughts clash together.
My Mind is out of control. I have No Peace.
Why? What If? This did not happen in my life. Why did it happen?
And then I stop myself. I AM A MUSLIM. Suddenly there is a sense of calmness. Knowing there is a higher power that is in control.
How can I question My Rabb. How can I find displeasure in his Decree.
O My Rabb. You test those whom you Love the Most. Guiding them on the Siraatul Mustaqeem.
O My Rabb. I am on my Knees. My hands are raised. Supplicating to you to ease my suffering, to ease my uncontrollable thoughts. To help me attain your mercy and your pleasure.
I lower my head realizing how I have come to this point. I have become my worst enemy. Ignoring the voice in my head. Ignoring the Angel that whispers to me every day.
My actions and my thoughts have lead me onto this dark path.
O My Rabb. Illuminate my path with your Noor.
O My Rabb. Forgive me. Allow me to start each day in obedience to you.
They say when tears flow from your eye’s it is either happiness or sorrow.
O My Rabb. My tears are filled with sorrow. My tears are filled with my disobedience toward you.
O My Rabb. Accept my repentance. Allow my tears to cool my eyes so that I may find happiness and contentment in what you have decreed.
O My Rabb. I realize now that you do not withhold things to punish me. But to leave my hands empty to receive what is better for me.
Wal ASR….By the Token of Time man is at a state of Loss. O My Rabb let me not fall into this state. Let my mind not wonder into procrastination; let my thoughts not attract the evil plot of Shaytaan.
O My Rabb. Help me to attain Ihsaan. Eemaan and Taqwah.
My Mind. My Thoughts are out of control.
When I am supplicating to you, O Allah….Facing you brings peace and tranquillity. O Allah allow me to remain in this state.
Cure me from my own destruction. Cure me from the destruction of My Mind.
My Uncontrollable thoughts.