By Fadia Bint Ismail
Standing on the edge of the cliff.
My arms spread out wide.
My eyes locked on the sight below.
Waves gushing against the rocks, the breeze brushing against my face.
I am ready. Ready to jump.
I close my eyes imagining how I would drop to my destruction.
I have come to the point where I feel like falling and never waking up.
A rush of thoughts entered my mind.
What have I done to myself? What have I done to my soul?
I have disobeyed Allah.
I have broken my promises and brought destruction to myself.
Tears are rolling down my face. There is no hope.
Moving closer to the edge. Ready to fall into the raging waters beneath me.
Suddenly I hear a voice. A hand clutching mine trying to pull me back.
I turn around. Staring at me is my own reflection. The sadness fills my eyes.
What am I doing to myself?
Darkness surrounding me.
A beaming light engorged my sight. I opened my eyes. I awoke in a frantic state.
My face immersed in my palms crying out.
You have saved me.
When darkness surrounded me, I felt I had no hope.
When sadness and grief filled my heart.
You illuminated my soul and uplifted my heart.
When my sins were as tall as a mountain. You forgave me.
You are Most oft-Most Forgiving-Most Merciful.
When everyone left me in despair.
You showed me that you would always be there.
When I was standing on the edge ready to jump.
You held my hand and pulled me back.
The most praiseworthy, the sustainer, the provider and giver of all things my faith in you will never deteriorate.
My faith in you will grow with each passing day.
My reflection, My eyes, My hands, My voice, My heart and My soul. You have blessed me.
It was all just a dream. You saved me