work-of-darkness1By Fadia Bint Ismail

My heart feels like its crushing and falling into despair.

Beneath me I see the deepest darkest hole.

I feel like I could just plunge and fall.

 

My hands and knees are on the ground.

The tears are falling from my eyes.

My heart pounding like it could just explode.

I feel like I have lost all senses.

 

This feeling is uncontrollable.

The darkness has engulfed my entire being.

I reach out wrapping myself in my own arms.

How did I get here?

How did I fall so far?

 

My senses are lost.

My mind is out of control and my emotion has led me on a dark path of no return.

I cry out. Where are you?

Save me.

 

O Allah I am not your most favourable slave. But I need you.

My heart. My soul. My entire being longs for you.

 

My Emaan has weakened. O Allah guide me.

Take away the disturbances of my heart.

My head is on the ground. My hands stretched out. The tears will not stop.

O Allah. Forgive me. Bring me out of this darkness.

I beseech to you in your beautiful names.

O Allah you are As-Salam the Source of Peace.

 

O Allah you are Al-Ghaffar, The Forgiving and the only one who can forgive.

 

O Allah you Al-Basit, The Reliever. Relieve me from my distress.

O Allah you are Al-Halim, The Forbearing. Help me to forbear this test, to remain patient in this quest.

 

O Allah you are Al-Muhyi, Al-Mumit, The Giver and Taker of Life.

Help me to restore my life before I take my last breathe.

 

O Allah you are An-Nur, The Light. O Allah light my way.

 

Free me from this Darkness.

 

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