By Fadia Bint Ismail
We all find ourselves saying these two words. If Only.
If only I had done so and so then perhaps my life would be different.
Qadr’Allahu Waa Maa Yaa Shaa Fa’Allah (Allah has decreed and He does as He wills)
If only are words of Shaytaan. We as Muslims should continuously remind ourselves that Allah is in control of all of our affairs. Everything in our lives is predestined and what is decreed will come to us when Allah wills.
We sit and torment ourselves over things we have no control over. Yes Allah gives us free will, but it is up to us to decide what we do with that and from there Allah guides us to that which is best for us.
If you are beating yourself up by constantly thinking i wish i never did that. If only i took a different path then maybe i would not be feeling the way i do. Most of the time when these thoughts enter our minds it is usually faced with sadness, depression and torment. The first step to tackling this problem is by asking Allah forgiveness by making Istigfaar and repenting sincerely we can be sure that Inshallah Allah will forgive us. Allah is most forgiving. The second step is to rid yourself from all the negativity especially those that bring negativity to your life. The best solution to this would be to surround yourself with individuals who remind you daily about Allah.
There are many things we can all do to help free our minds from the shackles of our negativity but i find the best method and it has always worked for me is to have a plan. The plan should be simple, productive and you should be able to action it.
- 5 Times Daily Nemaaz.
- As I mentioned asking forgiveness.
This should be a daily Dua that we make every Nemaaz time.
- Nawfl prayers.
Tahajjud. Be sure that the ua of Tahajjud is like an arrow that never misses its target.
- Rid yourself from those negative people who bring you down.
Supplicate to Allah to guide you and protect you. Do Durood Shareef. There are many Duroods that are very beneficial and will help us in our daily lives.
- Learning the 99 Names of Allah.
There are many names of Allah that you can take as Wasifa. Each name holds its own attributes which will help you tremendously.
Helping those less fortunate not only pleases Allah it will rejuvenate your heart, mind and soul. It will also make you see that there are people out there that are worse off than you.
- Islamic Literature.
Look for inspirational books especially Seerah of the Nabi (SAW) and also the stories of all the Prophets will help you cope and deal with your issues.
- The Holy Quran.
The best method. Study it and read it with understanding. Believe me each Ayah and each verse will speak to you in such a way that you will be shocked. The best way is to imagine that the Quran was revealed to you only. After all the Quran was revealed to all mankind.
With the above mentioned you should try to set aside specific times for each one and obligatory things should be done on time Inshallah.
I will relate a story. There was a girl and every single day she would say these two words IF ONLY. Eventually it became second nature to her to doubt herself. What she did not realise was that every moment she doubted herself she was leaving a pathway open for Shaytaan. These events do not just happen in our lives there are always reasons for them. This girl liked a guy and this guy would be very harsh with her and she use to say to herself what if she didn’t do certain things maybe then he would treat her better. So eventually she became depressed and it slowly ate at her Emaan. The moral of the story is these two words have a serious effect. It lowers your Emaan, It shows that we are unhappy and not content with Allah’s decree and proves what we are truly attached to. We all suffer with this but we should remind ourselves there is a reason for every good or bad thing that happens in our lives. Do not Doubt Yourself. Do not say if only. Most of all remember we can never change events that occur no matter how hard we try. Allah is the giver and taker of all things and we may see something and believe it is good for us but Allah sees that it is bad for us.
I would like to end off with this.
Allah created us. Allah breathed life into us. He made us all with unique characteristics. There will be success and there will be failure. There will be hurt and there will be joy. This is a test from Allah. Be patient. Be happy. Be content. If you want to cry, then cry. If you want to complain, then complain to Allah. Never give up. Never let Shaytaan win. Remember Allah loves us all and Allah tests those whom he loves the most. And Allah never burdens a soul with more than what they can cope with.
Say. O Allah I put my full Yaqeen in you. You are the best disposer of affairs. And you are Most Merciful.