By Fadia Bint Ismail
Pondering, wondering a million thoughts all together.
There is no Peace.
Why? What If? This did not happen in my life. Why did it happen?
I stop myself.
I AM A MUSLIM. A sense of calmness overwhelms me.
Knowing there is a higher power that is in control.
How can I question My Rabb.
How can I find displeasure in his Decree.
O My Rabb. You test those whom you Love the Most.
Guiding them on the Siraatul Mustaqeem.
I am on my Knees. My hands are raised.
Supplicating to you to ease my suffering,
I lower my head realizing how I have come to this point.
I have become my worst enemy.
Ignoring the voice in my head.
Ignoring the whispers of the Angels.
My actions and my thoughts have lead me onto this dark path.
O My Rabb. Illuminate my path with your Noor.
O My Rabb. Forgive me.
Allow me to start each day in obedience to you.
They say when tears flow from your eye’s it is either happiness or sorrow.
My tears are filled with sorrow.
My tears are filled with my disobedience toward you.
Accept my repentance. Allow my tears to cool my eyes.
I realize now that you do not withhold things to punish me.
But to leave my hands empty to receive what is better for me.
WAL ASR. By the Token of Time man is at a state of Loss.
O My Rabb let me not fall into this state.
Let my mind not wonder into procrastination; let my thoughts not attract the evil plot of Shaytaan.
Help me to attain Ihsaan. Emaan and Taqwah.
When I am supplicating to you, O Allah….
Facing you brings peace and tranquillity.
O Allah allow me to remain in this state.
Cure me from my own destruction.
My Mind. My Thoughts are out of control.